Let the battle begin! No - I'm not talking about a battle with cancer. I'm talking about the battle with my hair! I am finally beginning to get a good bit of hair on my head and it is wild. It is definitely curly and has a mind of it's own. It sticks out every which way it chooses and no gel or mousse can control it. I have bedhead extraordinaire!
I have pretty much given up hats and scarves, though I have to admit I feel kinda naked without them. I still wear them sometimes because my head gets cold and because I think I look strange with short hair. It's funny - but people are having trouble recognizing me! They are used to the hats and scarves and seeing me with short hair is a whole different look. You'd think after six months I'd have more hair than I do! That's right - it's been six months since my last chemo! It's gonna take awhile to get some length - and I wonder if it will ever be as long as it was before chemo. I don't recognize that lady in my mirror either.
But it is hair.... and it is progress.... and it will keep growing :)
The expansion process is going smoothly and I think I am done with injections. (It's kinda weird trying to decide how big you want your boobs to be...) I am pleased with the results thus far and it looks like the exchange surgery will be in late May or early June. They still feel very foreign on my chest but I assume they will eventually become a part of me. I am missing the way hugs used to feel. It now feels as if there is a pillow or something between me and the other person and I keep thinking I want to pull them closer. I hate that. Remind me that it is a small price to pay in order to have any hugs at all.
I forgot to mention that the feeling in my fingers has finally returned (thank-goodness!) but the toes are still numb. At my six-month check-up, the doctor said it could take up to a year for the toes to get better. I am used to it now and it doesn't bother me so much (hopefully the same will be true of the boobs someday) but I do wish they would re-gain feeling. Isn't it amazing, that six months later, I am still feeling side effects from those damn chemo drugs?
Ahhh... but it is springtime. The sun is shining and the flowers are blooming. I put the top down yesterday and took a long drive out to the lake and soaked up as much vitamin D as I could. There is nothing like a good dose of sunshine to brighten my mood. I may be numb in several places, but I can still feel the sun and the wind on my face.
And it is glorious.
BTW - The title of this blog post, "I Am Not My Hair," is the title of a great song by India Arie. If you have a minute, check out this song and it's lyrics on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZH6lKxA_q0
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5 comments:
Aaah, convertible weather. Spring in Arkansas, isn't it lovely? The time when our minds turn to planting. Looks like our fear of frost is past and I think its time to start thinking TOMATOES!!!
We are glad to hear from you. Its been awhile.
David and Terri :)
p.s. you ought to swing by and see our latest project...an 86 Alfa Romeo. At least I'll have a convertible for spring :)
Have I ever told you that home grown Arkansas tomatoes prevent recurrence of breast cancer? I'm certain it's true (hint, hint).
Glad things are going well with the reconstruction and the returning of feeling, albeit slowly. And the hair, well, just don't worry about it! There's less to tangle up on your convertible rides, and it's messy anyway, so no need to worry about mussin' up your "do"! And the numbness in your chest IS a small price to pay to be able to be here to hug your son, husband, family, friends, strangers, anyone you feel like huggin', because YOU ARE HERE, and you are cancer-free, and you are done with chemo, and well, all the yucky is behind you, and now you can appreciate all that you have been blessed with, especially the little things like sunshine on your face! I feel a John Denver song coming on! Sorry, but that's one of the 2 cd's my home remodelling crew likes to play and sing to at the top of their lungs! (They've been here since October) I pray that all continues to go well for you, and thank God for all that He has already done for you! Blessings, Cathy
PS. I think Arkansas home-grown tomatoes cure and prevent anything!
your hair will grow! My mum had her partial masectomy and a 12 month go of chemo when she was in her 60s. After it all started to come back, she said, damn it I'm going to grow it - she is in her 80s now and it hits her bum! LOL
that's awesome ... that you survived - I'm glad.
great to connect again. I just had haircut #2 and my last chemo was 5/1/08. Yep it takes quite a bit of patience and the realization that your hair is very different.
Pre first hair cut I looked some what like Kramer from Seinfeld, but wanted enough hair that the cut would make a difference and it did.
It wasn't until after this cut I realized that my hair had stopped coming in so curly and my hair began to look like a perm that was almost grown out. So I cut it shorter and now love it. Wake up put in some product and I'm ready to go.
The funny thing is last night at dinner a friend remarked on how long my hair is and that it was finally begin to look like me.
Long? with the layers it's 1" to 3" - but without the tight chemo perm on the end it does appear longer then before.
And yes, more gray, silver then it was before.
And yes, I know you asked about pictures on my blog...just haven't gotten around to it or perhaps I'm just procrastinating and waiting for the right glamor shot.
It's great to hear your story and remember that it's part of the breast cancer process - numbness, curly hair, ups and downs and gratitude.
Until next time. Regards, Michele
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