Well, it's past midnight and I am having trouble sleeping tonight. I have a lot of things on my mind - plus - my scalp hurts. Yes, I have begun losing my hair. It is falling out by the handful. My scalp is itchy and tender all over - it's similar to the feeling you get when you wear your hair in a tight pony tail for too long.
Earlier today I got my sister in-law, who is a hair dresser, to cut it short for me. I figured a short hair cut would help to ease the transition to complete baldness. I started to tear up a little as I prepared to go, but I repeated the mantra a few times (see previous post) and pulled myself together.
I've had long hair since I was in Jr. High so the short hair feels really weird. I even scratched my neck with the comb because I'm not used to stopping that short! The hair is wild, unruly and extra curly. I have no idea what to do with it! In the end, it doesn't matter much. It is coming out so fast that I will be ready to shave it completely in a day or two.
When I got home from the hair cut, Ben and Eli had prepared a scavenger hunt for me. Written clues led me to various hiding places in the house where I found new scarves and hats to cover my bald head. It was extra sweet of them to try and cheer me up. I played along, but I must admit that it was kinda hard to be playful at that moment.
The emotional investment most of us have in our hair is strong. It is such a part of our identities. (Who of you can think of me and not see my hair falling across my left eye?) Hair represents health, hygiene, and how well you care for yourself. It is sexy, flirtatious, and something that makes us unique from one another. You don't have to remind me that the loss is temporary or tell me that bald is beautiful. I'll be just fine. I know that losing your hair isn't a tragedy.... but it's at least worth a big whine:)
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3 comments:
You deserve a great big whine. Just go ahead. . . without any guilt. I can't imagine what a drag I would be in that situation, and my hair isn't really all that great to start with (a wig might be an improvement). It does sound like Memorial Day Weekend was a boost and a beautiful time to remember on those really lousy days.
Talk to you soon.
Wow! Ben and Eli have been awesome through all of this! You are so blessed! I am sorry losing your hair is painful, I never even thought about that. But if you feel good enough to party with your friends until 3:00 am, you go, Girl! This will be a distant memory before you know it, and we will all be walking (at least I will be walking) or running in the Race for the Cure come October.
Love you bunches an praying hard for you, Cathy
While driving through Hillcrest this weekend I spotted a very sexy young woman. She also happend to be very bald.
dcm
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