Pain Free

I am pain free today! Ahhhhh.... it feels so nice. I hope I am never a sufferer of chronic pain - I don't think I would make a very good patient. I hate to be such a complainer - but the bone pain I've been experiencing is awful. You can't get comfortable no matter how you sit. It's a random, roving pain that is sometimes throbbing and sometimes stabbing. It's mostly in my knees, hips and legs, but no bone is immune. I feel stiff and sore like a 90 year old lady with arthritis. The pain meds certainly take the edge off, but then I feel sleepy (and constipated!) I was so frustrated with the pain yesterday morning that I sat in the bath tub and cried! And today it's gone; it left as quickly as it came.

While I was in the midst of all the pain the thought of having one more infusion felt like an overwhelming task that I could not accomplish and left me depressed. So I started thinking about the celebration I would have after recovering from the last chemo. Now we're talking fun! Maybe a BBQ picnic with lots of food. Or maybe a more elegant affair at the house with fancy finger foods and a hired bartender. I may make you wear a funny hat, play silly games or learn a new dance. I have lots of different ideas... but basically I want to have a huge party and invite people from all walks of my life. I won't spell out the details now, but just know that it will happen and you are all invited when it does! It gave me pleasure to think of something fun - of an end goal - and it made the time pass a lot easier. I also found working on a crossword puzzle while waiting for a pain killer to kick in is good distraction!

I made a "practice run" to work today. I'm overwhelmed at all there is to do there. Anyone reading this who works with me - please be patient a little more. It's hard to get re-started. I've been out almost three solid weeks now. My friend Leslie suggested I start by making a list. Number one on the list should be "Make a list." Then after you add four or five more items, you can scratch off number one on your list! Immediate accomplishment! Think I'll try it!

Okay - better get to that list. People are waiting... Just wanted everyone to know the pain is gone and I am working on rebuilding my strength and stamina.

Just ONE MORE TO GO. I can do this!

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