My poor little head is covered with a good bit of fuzz now (most of it grey, unfortunately!) and a tiny bit of hair is starting to crop up on my legs, underarms and private parts (yes – I lost all of that hair too!) I only have a few eyelashes left and something tells me it will be awhile before they return. I wonder what it’s like to wear fake eyelashes? I don’t believe I’ve ever tried them. And even if I put them on they’d probably melt off right after the first hot flash. Man – those hot flashes are a bitch! Mine start at the base of my skull and within an instant my whole head is covered with sweat, which is weird because I have never been a heavy sweater. Like many fine, southern women, I don’t sweat, I dew, so this is a very new phenomena for me! Now I can handle them fine during the daytime, but they sure mess up my sleep at night. Argh – they are so unfair.
I have been trying to exercise as much as possible to rebuild my strength. I get to the gym when I can and try to walk on the other days. I have to say – the exercise feels good and I can tell a difference in my stamina already. It’s always hard to make myself get up and go but I always feel much better afterwards. As my sister-in-law Ruth says, you never leave the gym saying, “That was a waste of time. I wish I hadn’t done that.”
So I’m starting to feel more like my old self, but I’m not completely there yet. The end of chemo was a huge milestone, but I’m just not ready to celebrate. The big surgeries still loom ahead and I am having a hard time thinking about them. In fact, I don’t want to think about them at all. I just want to feel normal again. I want to have hair, and fingers that work, and strength in my legs. And I want those damn hot flashes to go away.
Okay, okay – I’ll settle for 3 out of the 4.
748
2 comments:
Hi there. I, too, loved the happiness grenade. You know that I have been on the go quite a bit lately, so took some time today to catch up with your blog. You are doing great, Sherri Jo. I know it probably doesn't seem that way sometimes, but you really are. Hopefully, we can catch up in person soon.
Hi Sherry Jo,
I had kept up with you for a while and then got busy when it sounded like things were going well. Just thought I'd check in today and boy has a lot happened since the last time I checked.
Hang in there. I can tell you on the eyelash thing, they come back in very thick and lush, and then a few months later they shed again. I'm going through about my 3rd time. Each time you lose a few less and it's never as bad as the first time.
I'm now a year out from my last chemo and 10 months out from reconstruction. So far everything has been good. I had a single mastectomy with reconstruction and a lift on the other side. Neither was as bad as I expected with the final reconstruction actually being a piece of cake. Went into surgery at 2:00, home on my couch by 6:00. If it helps any, in retrospect, I almost wish I'd have had them both removed and reconstructed and then they'd match and you wouldn't have any worries. The scars on the lifted side are actually worse than the scars on the reconstructed side. I also had the nipple reconstruction and tatooing, very interesting process.
Sounds like you're doing the hat thing. I had 5 wigs in various lengths and colors to entertain myself and my co-workers. Sounds like you, too, are finding positives where you can. Just think when we're 70 we'll still be perky.
Call me any time if you feel like talking. Hang in there. Hope to hear continuing good news.
Doris Hallford
Missouri
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