Tomorrow morning I part with my ovaries. I really don't want to do this, but I sure as hell don't want ovarian cancer either.
I like my hormones. I got a small taste of life without them during "chemopause" and I didn't like it. It's true that the hormones would be leaving me in the next couple of years anyway, but I would have preferred a gentle slide into menopause versus a hard smack in the face. I'm one of those people that likes to slowly work my way into a cold swimming pool instead of diving in head first. Tomorrow's surgery will be a big dive.
I'm not worried about the actual surgery. In fact, it's kind of funny how non-chalant I feel about the procedure. This is surgery number 4 in the period of 18 months; I'm an old hand at this now. I've had a c-section and my uterus removed years ago so I know what to exect as far as pain goes. This surgery is laproscopic so it shouldn't be nearly as bad. But life without estrogen.... that's another thing all together.
I suppose I shall survive this too.
I was visiting Atlanta a few weeks back and a group of friends and I were walking in the downtown area afer dinner one night. There were many homeless people in the streets and there were people sleeping on the sidewalk. Little Rock has its share of homeless people but we have enough "green space" around that they seem to stay more hidden. I don't have a great deal of exposure to the homeless. Seeing a grown man sleeping on the sidewalk broke my heart. So really - what do I have to complain about? Losing my ovaries won't be all fun but at least I have a home, a job, plenty to eat, and friends and family that love me.
Well, let the hot flashes begin.
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3 comments:
Hugs.
I've walked this path, and it is not fun or easy. Compared with everything else you've dealt with, it probably is relatively "minor," but losing estrogen production creates a whole series of cascading issues. If you need someone to just talk to about it, you know where to find me.
swan
hi, I hope you stay that strong as you are now. but if you feel depressed don't hesitate and ask for help. I know what you are goung through from a family friend
I just found your blog...quite by accident really. Thanks for sharing your cancer journey. I'm 45, diagnosed with IDC in my left breast in July 08...I had a mastectomy in August 08 (37 lymph nodes negative for cancer)...Chemo begain in September...4 rounds, ended on December 1st, 2008. Had a total hysterectomy in February 2009...(I know all about the hot flash thing!). Just had my 1 year follow up PET scan....it was clear. Phew!
I pray your surgery went well and that you are healing!
My blog started out being a cancer journey and has moved into my family, church, politics and miscellaneous stuff.
Again, thank you for sharing your journey. I will check in on you!
Nancy in Florida.
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