Friday, January 8, 2010

Sailing Along

It's been 7 weeks since my ovaries were removed and I have recovered well.  At my post surgery visit, I told the doctor that I wasn't having the hot flashes or night sweats yet.  She said if it hasn't happened yet - it isn't going to!  For once - I'm getting a break!!!

So 2009 marks the end of all my cancer treatments.  No drugs, no more surgeries.  When I left the Women's Surgical Oncology Clinic after my oopherectomy follow up appointment, I realized I will never have a reason to go there again - hopefully.  It was weird to leave.  I have been going to that clinic annually for the last 20 years!  I found a dimple in one of my breasts when I was 27 years old (a sign of breast cancer) and have had annual mammograms and exams ever since.  Because my sister had already had breast cancer, I was considered high risk and monitored closely.  Twenty years is a long time.  Leaving the clinic felt like such a momentous occasion.  I will still have follow up appointments with the medical oncologist (the chemo doc) for a couple more years, but other than that, I am done with treatments.

I AM DONE!  Did you get that??

It has been a long 22 months. Two biopses, four surgeries, six rounds of chemo, six nights in the hospital, a positive gene mutation test, and lord knows how many hours sitting in the waiting room.  (If there is truly a place called Hell - I'm certain it looks like a UAMS waiting room!)

You try to move on and put it all behind you, but I have to admit it's hard sometimes.  I still feel anxious and worried about a recurrence.  I'm still adjusting to the permanent changes in my body.  I'm still depressed about the state of my hair.  I still mourn the loss of my real breasts.

They say your emotional recovery takes as long as your period of treatment.  Heavens!  I hope it doesn't take that long!  Well, no matter how long it takes, at least I know I'm on the road to recovery.

Let the journey begin.

9 comments:

Sue said...

The mourning takes awhile -- as long as it takes. Adjusting to the body you now occupy doesn't happen quickly. After all, you lived in your old "body neighborhood" for your entire life. Now, you've moved to a whole new place, and not by choice. It will take awhile.

Along the way, I hope you'll find things to appreciate and enjoy and celebrate. One day, you'll look around and notice that you are "home." It will happen.

All the best, and congratulations on passing this milestone on your journey.

swan

Unknown said...

Wow - 20 YEARS, and now you are done! And no hot flashes! Super lucky. You are indeed sailing along.

Here's a quote to encourage you,

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."
Sir Winston Churchill

Way to go Sherri Jo!

Jackie

Anonymous said...

For the record, I like the new hair! I think it fits the new you. Stephanie

Jacki said...

Congrats -- and in celebration, you get to read the Skinnygirl Dish book, because YOU WON it in my Breast Cancer blog giveaway. Yay! If you can email me your full name and mailing address, I'll mail it off to you!

Cheers!
Jacki

mjr said...

It may be hard to explain this feeling -- but I am so proud of you. It's not like I'm your mom or anything, but it is a kind of maternal thing, I believe. Can't explain it, but I'm thankful, joyful, and so proud of the person you are.

zuzamoll said...

Hi...I am also after a bilateral mastectomy:) TAKE CARE!

Louise said...

I'm so glad to read this... I know it is hard, and scary, and that it is somehow much harder and scarier now things are done... It will take a lot of time to heal, and a lot of patience, but it can be done... "Sail on silvergirl, Sail on by".

Much love, Louise

nWIgal said...

2o years? The air you're breathing must feel different, now. A new kind of freedom - sometimes scary and uncertain, and hopefully, prayerfully always better. This is when you get to put to real creative use all the strength you've had to store up for so many years!

Judi said...

Sherri Jo, I am really embarrassed that I quit checking your blog, after what then seemed like an end to your forever-feeling recovery. I did not know about the ovary removal hanging over you. So please accept my apology. And know that I will continue to hold you in my prayers as you heal your emotional self.

Each time you feel vulnerable and weak, experience it, then remember each time your strength carried you through and embrace it. You are incredible.

In friendship,
Judi