Life threw me a bit of a curve ball yesterday. Part of me isn’t ready to share this news yet and another part of me can’t hold it in.
Many of you may remember that I submitted blood work months ago for the breast cancer gene test. Wednesday I learned that I am positive for the BRCA2 breast cancer gene.
Damn.
The numbers behind the BRCA2 gene mutation are powerful. If you possess the gene, there is a 56% -87% chance that you will develop breast cancer before age 70 and a 27% - 44% chance of ovarian cancer. If you have ALREADY HAD breast cancer, there is a 64% chance that you will develop it again. And we are talking about a new, primary tumor in a different location or different breast – not a recurrence of the first tumor.
These are BIG numbers. I am looking at a 64% chance of another breast cancer tumor! Shit!
Needless to say, I am now faced with the decision of removing both breasts and my ovaries. Of course I will explore all options and talk to many experts, but my initial reaction is to say “take it all.” I do not want to play those odds. It’s a butt load of surgery and it sounds horrible, but I do not want to mess around with cancer any more. Fortunately, the decision isn’t urgent. There certainly won’t be any surgery until after my chemo is complete at the end of August.
I am trying to look at the upside of this. At least I know about the risk and I have the option to take various actions. I can prevent the cancer from occurring. I am empowered. I also have the opportunity to help a lot of women (and men) in my extended family. The analysis of my DNA was comprehensive and required 17,000 individual tests. But now they know specifically where to look for the gene and anyone in my family can have a simple, inexpensive test to determine if they carry the gene as well. Looking at my family history, the gene most likely comes from my dad. He will be tested first. If his test is positive, we will notify all the other family members.
This news was hard. I was so happy with the lumpectomy. Bi-lateral mastectomy? Ugh! I am emotionally devastated and my head is in a thick fog. There were plenty of tears yesterday and neither Ben nor I went back to work after the 10 a.m. appointment with the geneticist. I wasn’t able to maintain my composure or concentrate on anything. We drove out to the lake and watched our son who is participating in the Junior Learn-to-Sail program this week.
Today I am exhausted and very unfocused. I didn’t sleep much. I thought I was over the hump and now there is another whole game. I know - I know things could be much worse. I know I will be okay. Like everything else, it will just take time.
If you are interested in learning more about the BRCA2 gene and what it means, go here:
http://www.myriadtests.com/result-br1-positive.htm
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4 comments:
I am stunned, Sherri Jo! This will take a while to absorb. Thanks for sharing -- even this news. You are very present in my thoughts.
Well, you used the explitives I thought of first, so all I can think of is what my 91 year old mother always says when she's stumped by life--hell's bells! Sherri Jo, for you I am so sorry that there's another round of decisions; and for your family, your courage to have the testing done gives them the opportunity to prevent what you are going through--that's a victory! But right now, the word "victory" seems a little hallow because it doesn't stop the fear and dread (though one day it will). I'll pray that the very best meedical information comes to you and Ben, and I know that the fog will lift and you will make courageous decisions, just as you have in the past. Huge hugs coming your way...
SJ, you have been in my thoughts a lot the last couple of days. I hope you don't mind that I shared your news with Rob. We wept together in sadness for your emotional trauma of this news right after losing your hair...what timing! But, I keep thinking how fortunate you are to have this information. Just think, before this test was available, you would not have known and would not have had the opportunity to take actions that can save your life. This is hard to say and I mean it in the best of ways but you as a person are more than your physical being alone. Try to focus on the positive and remember that because of this, you will be able to spend more time with your family. Try not to feel overwhelmed, take it one day at a time, and live life to its fullest! -Nic
Dear Sherri Jo,
You, Ben, and Eli are so on our hearts and minds. We are shocked to hear the latest news. But remember, even though we may not know what or why, there is a reason for everything we go through. One reason you are going through this is that not only can you make decisions to save your life, but your testing has probably saved the lives of other family members. Also, others who are reading this blog may be thinking about having the test, thus saving more lives.
I know you have stated that you are very attached to your body, breasts, hair, etc. But those things are not the true essence of your spirit or who you are. You are a devoted wife and mother. You are a loving daughter, niece, aunt, cousin, friend. You are a brave woman who is facing the scariest time of her life with honesty and dignity. You are a voice for the young, innocent, and weak through your work. None of these things change, no matter what stage your physical body is in. And when all is done, we will just be so thankful that you have survived this and are still here with us.
You have faced challenges in your life before, and you have rushed at them head-on. While this may be a large bump (ok-mountain) in your road of life, Keep that head-on attitude. You will climb up it, dance a victory dance on top of it, and then charge down the other side, leaving it in the dust, far, far behind you. But remember to always be thankful for the steps along the way--like the successful lumpectomy and the relatively uneventful chemo.
Know that I love you very much and am praying hard for you, as are many others. The power of prayer is awesome---really. I pray for wisdom and discernment for you and Ben, as well as health, peace, and protection for you and your family. Love, Cathy
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