Today I have lost some of my strength and optimism. I don't want to do this. I don't want to have breast cancer. Even the lumpectomy sounds bad to me right now. I don't want a three inch scar across my chest; I have strapless dresses and swimsuits still to wear! And I don't want radiation to harden my breast and make me asymmetrical. Nor do I want chemo that makes me sick. Blah to all of it.
Okay - I know. How stupidly vain is it to worry about a three inch scar and asymmetrical breasts when we are talking about my life? I should be thrilled with the idea of a lumpectomy. I'm just having a titty pity party, that's all.
Tomorrow will be better.
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3 comments:
Hi SJ--
Well I get the titty pitty.... After all, this sucks. You can get through it, but not if you don't allow yourself some honest grief every now and then. Keep it real, and just keep going with exactly where you are. You are one of the strongest ladies I know. If you're grieving we'll grieve with you. And then, a small cocktail might be useful. I'll drink to ya tomorrow when I have my Tuesday cocktails with Maryalice. See you in Steamboat! Love, Mimi
Hey Sherrie Jo,
You're on a roller coaster, so those darn downs come along with the ups! I read the entire blog this morning; thank you for this creative way to stay connected with all of us who love your courage and your (shall I say it??) sass! My radiation lasted for 7 weeks and I followed the advice of another survivor--exercise a plenty and you will lessen the fatigue; it worked for me! So, I'd say there's a lot of boating, dancing, swimming, and hog calling in the weeks ahead. Island Girl
Mimi - glad I can provide you with a reason to drink:) Just save some for me when I get to Steamboat!
Island girl - I do like roller coasters, but that first hill is a doozy!
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