I've always thought blogs were so self-indulgent. I mean, who needs to read the garbage floating around in my head every day? I admit that I read a few blogs here and there. I've found some of a political nature that interest me. I've read blogs of people's insane sex lives, I've seen travel logs and people who are passionate about some crazy hobby. They all get boring after awhile.
But they are a phenomena of our time. I wonder if in the future people will take as great an interest in old blogs as we do in old letters today. They are each a time capsule in their own right.
This blog really is a self-indulgent endeavor for me. It will probably contain lots of whining and excruciatingly painful discussions that will illustrate my poor capacity for quick decision making. When I'm happy or content, I don't feel as much of a need to write. When I am scared, troubled, or mad I feel the need to purge.
I do believe this cancer will be a journey that will change who I am. But I doubt I will unveil any enlightening philosophies or nuggets of wisdom that aren't already covered in the thousands of cancer books floating around in the universe. So many have gone before me.
I'm sure I may be disgusting at times (eeewww - your vomit was what color??) or boring at others (how many bald jokes can you stand?) So please read only what interests you and ignore the rest. I am trying to label posts that contain information from a doctor's visit or procedure, so if you are mostly interested in those details, you can click on those labels.
Otherwise.... indulge me.
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3 comments:
Sherri Jo,
You will never know how many people you may help through your blog. I have been following a blog of a family whose adopted daughter from China had a heart transplant here at ACH a year ago. I have followed and commented on her blog for the whole thing, and I even went to meet to her, because I was so inspired by her story. When reading back over the postings, it becomes apparent how many thousands of people have benefitted from the postings by the family and the "guestbook" participants.
You are obviously not the first or the last woman to go through this, and your honesty will help not only yourself "vent", but also help others who are going through the same thing, have friends or family going through it, those who just want to know more about it, or those who don't know what to say if they call you on the phone. Post the positives too, if for nothing else than to be able to go back and remind yourself on the bad days that you can have good days sprinkled in there too.
You are an amazing, courageous woman who has always had a heart to help people. This is just one more way to reach people, many of whom you will never meet. What started out as a "self-indulgence" will no doubt help many!!
I am glad you had a good vacation--I agree with Mimi about the anti-anxiety meds. I take Klonapin for anxiety--not much--1/2 of what is prescribed--but it sure does help take the edge off, keeps my heart from beating out of my chest, and helps ensure better readings for medical procedures, especially MRI's. Man, I hate that little tube too!!
I found a web/blog/forum site (actually it popped up in my inbox) that you might find helpful. It is called Revolutionhealth, and there is a forum, with a doctor, that discusses lumpectomy vs. mastectomy with and without reconstruction, etc. It has comments and questions from women who have gone through or are considering these procedures. Hope it helps.
As always, my prayers are for you.
Love, Cathy
Thanks for indulging me Cathy! If the blog helps someone else, then that's great. If it just helps me, then I'm okay with that too.
I did check out the revolution health. It was very interesting to read other people's stories. Thanks.
Sherri Jo,
I recently was given copies of about 35 or 40 letters that were written by great-great (?) grandfather to his wife in 1849 when he and his son travelled by wagon train to San Fransico to seek their fortune with the other "forty niners". I remember thinking how sad that there are no records of the daily lives of our generation. No written records of our struggles, fears, thoughts, and triumphs. The telephone kind of killed that when we quit writing letters. Now, we have blogs. And you are right...these are the records of our lives. Your detailed look at how you deal with things, the medical decisions you are making and your feelings will be important to not only your recovery and success, but to others who will come after you. Please don't consider it "self-indulgent" its more of a public service! T:)
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