Notes on Healing

So, the healing has been going well. The pain hasn’t been too bad; mostly I’ve just been tired. I’ve slept many hours every day. The pain medicine contributes to the sleepiness, but mostly I think your body burns all of its energy in healing the wound. Plus, I think all of the stress leading up to the surgery wore me out. Knowing the good outcome allowed me to finally relax a little.

I’ve once again confirmed that daytime television is truly a load of crap. Actually, I was secretly looking forward to watching Oprah and The View everyday (something I would never admit to any of you in person!) but I never made it past 5 minutes of either show without falling asleep. My goodness, I forget that there is another whole world out there on the airwaves! Soap operas I can understand to some degree, but do people really watch Jerry Springer and Montel Williams? And why are there so many different courtroom shows? I saw one talk show that highlighted men who get pleasure by paying morbidly obese woman to sit upon them and squish them. I am not making this up.

I decided I should probably go back to work.

I went back on Tuesday – one week post surgery. I guess we will call it a transitional day. I went in at 10:00, took a two hour lunch, and left a 4:30. Mostly, I stared at my “To Do” list and thumbed through all the phone messages. I promised myself I’d do better on Wednesday.

But then Wednesday arrived. I had my post surgery follow up with the surgeon in the morning. I was so proud of my progress and I felt I was a model patient. When the doctor examined me he said there was a fluid build up inside the incision – how he could tell this I still don’t know. I couldn’t feel or see anything unusual. First he ripped off all the steri-strips (ouch). I am sensitive to adhesive so there is a good deal of skin irritation underneath. Then he proceeded to clean off the area with an alcohol swab that stung like crazy! He placed a needle in the incision and drained off 40 ccs of fluid. The nurse placed pressure on my breast to help all the fluid drain. Sounds painful, but it really wasn’t. He adds new steri-strips and orders me back in one week.

As I start to get dressed I realize that my boob is not happy about being handled so roughly. And my skin feels like it’s on fire. By time I got to my car, I was beginning to wonder if I’d be able to drive. Within a few minutes, I realize that I am in a great deal of pain that isn’t going to subside quickly. I was in the same amount of pain as the day after surgery! Suddenly, I felt back to square one. I needed drugs!

I made it to the office for just a few minutes to take care of one important piece of business. Then I drove home (with one arm) and tried to calm the fire inside. Things were better within a few hours, but I am still feeling very tender. Thank god I gave up the idea of going to Seattle this week. It would have been a mistake!

I guess the whole thing kinda caught me by surprise. I thought I was doing so well…. I thought we were just going to look at the incision – not poke around on it! I think maybe I underestimated the magnitude of my injuries.

I am feeling better now and I think I will be fine to try work again on Thursday. I just have to realize that I am still fairly vulnerable.